[Carol Christensen]

borderbrae, on 17 November 2011 - 12:15 PM, said:

Carol the simple fact that you and others (married male and female) are taking part in a thread in the solos section of this great forum is evidence that the solos section is not exclusive and welcomes others' input, up to a point. But the view points/experiences of a married person are vastly different than those of a single person regarding certain aspects of rallies, travel or living at home for that matter and you should be willing to accept that fact. I have never been hit on at a rally, but there are times when I definitely feel that I must talk to/with the lady and pay much less attention to the man. If I'm asked a question I ALWAYS try to include her in the response even if she didn't ask the question and is getting glassy-eyed about it. I've been divorced for over 25 years and know this is the way it is and I deal with it without resentment. BUT a rally where everyone is single, not looking for the next conquest and simply out to relax and enjoy the area and company of friends is definitely a good idea and was proven by the support the past 2 have received.

Carol, looking at the glass as 1/2 full is always better than looking at one as 1/2 empty, look at all the rallies out there (Casita and fiberglass rv) that welcome one and all and go to those. Don't worry about the minute number who decide for one reason or another to set a small restriction.

I appreciate your input, borderbrae, and agree that this entire site, including the solo forum, is not exclusive and welcomes others. It is also true that the reason Casita Club is welcoming and not exclusive is because it is owned and managed by Eric Mayer. Who, BTW, is the only person entitled to make rules regarding the site.

I notice you've qualified the concept of welcoming input from others only "up to a point.” Perhaps you mean only up to the point where we remain civil and respectful rather than rude. If so, I would agree.

Maybe you missed the fact that I find Solo Rallies totally acceptable. Personally, I have no more interest in attending a Solo Rally than I do a Fly-fishing Rally. I prefer the opportunity of meeting a more diverse group of people. The things I am concerned with here are snobbery and discrimination taking the place of friendliness and respect. For example, the next solo rally will be defined as "unmarried / uncommitted" rather than solo. Uncommitted? I don’t see what difference it makes if a solo traveler has a private relationship with an especially close friend. And it seems rather rude to ask a perfect stranger such a personal question. Anyway, unless solos are looking for mates, I don't understand why this would be a reason to reject a solo participant. Rudeness to a few may not seem important to everyone but it reflects on Casita Club as a whole. That is my concern.

As for my being married and having no understanding of a single's life, that's simply not true. I have enjoyed the single lifestyle for nearly as many years as I've enjoyed the married lifestyle. Yep, they are different but I like them both. I have also traveled extensively as a single woman, business and pleasure trips.

As for being hit on, I haven't kept a tally, but don't think marital status makes much difference. I've been hit on by both single and married individuals and they haven't seemed to care whether I was single or married at the time. There are certain types of people who think they are irresistible, when really, they are just irritating.

Please understand that I do see your point of view. I just want to clarify my feelings on the matter.

[Eric Mayer]

I'm torn on this subject. While I completely agree that The Casita Club should be open for everyone, with no exclusions when it comes to rallies and get-togethers; I'm not really in a position to tell people how to run them or who to exclude or not exclude. I know that sounds like an easy way out, but in truth I can't tell people what to do when they put together a gathering of people. However I do ask that they keep in mind the fact that this "Club" was founded on the principle of no rules. We are open to all and hopefully welcome all.

This entire situation actually caused me to create a new website way back in July of this year. I was hoping to open a site for folks who wanted a more structured set of guidelines in order to join. Like many other things, it was put on the back-burner for a while and not promoted, but maybe now is the time to open it up and promote it. Especially to this group!

Here is the link to the site and who ever joins is welcome to help tweak the definition to match what works best for the group:

The Solo Campers Community Forums

I'm glad this thread was civil and addressed people's concerns. I dread these types of issues because I can see both points of view and there isn't an easy resolution.

Thanks for listening!

Sincerely,

Eric A. Mayer

[Samarai]

Eric Mayer, on 22 November 2011 - 05:12 PM, said:

I'm torn on this subject. While I completely agree that The Casita Club should be open for everyone, with no exclusions when it comes to rallies and get-togethers; I'm not really in a position to tell people how to run them or who to exclude or not exclude. I know that sounds like an easy way out, but in truth I can't tell people what to do when they put together a gathering of people. However I do ask that they keep in mind the fact that this "Club" was founded on the principle of no rules. We are open to all and hopefully welcome all.

This entire situation actually caused me to create a new website way back in July of this year. I was hoping to open a site for folks who wanted a more structured set of guidelines in order to join. Like many other things, it was put on the back-burner for a while and not promoted, but maybe now is the time to open it up and promote it. Especially to this group!

Here is the link to the site and who ever joins is welcome to help tweak the definition to match what works best for the group:

The Solo Campers Community Forums

I'm glad this thread was civil and addressed people's concerns. I dread these types of issues because I can see both points of view and there isn't an easy resolution.

Thanks for listening!

Sincerely,

Eric A. Mayer

Eric, thanks for putting up the Solo Campers forum. Since it encompasses all styles of solo camping - I look forward to many interesting posts on it.

[whencanoesfly]

ArizonaEileen, on 17 November 2011 - 12:46 AM, said:

CalCop, on 16 November 2011 - 08:13 PM, said:

Why not open this survey up to all?

To the married women who've responded in this thread: Until you've attended a mixed rally as a solo and had a married male Casitan (often drunk) sexually proposition you or put this hands on you -- to the point where it ruins your entire time at the rally -- you need to reserve judgment. And it's not just myself I'm talking about.

Eileen

I've read the solo forum a number of times since I thought it also referred to me - a married woman who travels by herself sometimes either with my Casita or with my motorcycle camper (which I pull with a car). There has been some useful information that I have used on my travels. I'd kept out of the rally issue because I hardly ever can make them, saving my vacation for other activities. This statement got my attention though. I travel for business on a regular basis, frequently by myself. The first time I was propositioned by a married man, I think I was 19. It has happened on a regular basis ever since, and I am now 57! Whether I was attached, married, or single doesn't seem to matter. It does not keep me from going to activities that include men, married or otherwise. That would be pretty hard since I work almost exclusively with men, and have since high school. I have learned to be very direct, and no one (and I do mean NO ONE) puts their hands on me (or tries to play footsie or any one of the many other ways men try come-ons) without consequences! I refuse to let the boorish behavior of others disturb my pleasure in activities. Maybe my coping and refusal skills are more highly polished than most because of always working in a male-dominated field.

I'll go back to my corner now ...

Pam

[ArizonaEileen]

whencanoesfly, on 23 November 2011 - 04:56 PM, said:

I've read the solo forum a number of times since I thought it also referred to me - a married woman who travels by herself sometimes either with my Casita or with my motorcycle camper (which I pull with a car). There has been some useful information that I have used on my travels. I'd kept out of the rally issue because I hardly ever can make them, saving my vacation for other activities. This statement got my attention though. I travel for business on a regular basis, frequently by myself. The first time I was propositioned by a married man, I think I was 19. It has happened on a regular basis ever since, and I am now 57! Whether I was attached, married, or single doesn't seem to matter. It does not keep me from going to activities that include men, married or otherwise. That would be pretty hard since I work almost exclusively with men, and have since high school. I have learned to be very direct, and no one (and I do mean NO ONE) puts their hands on me (or tries to play footsie or any one of the many other ways men try come-ons) without consequences! I refuse to let the boorish behavior of others disturb my pleasure in activities. Maybe my coping and refusal skills are more highly polished than most because of always working in a male-dominated field.

Pam

Pam -

First of all, this forum IS for all types of solos who camp alone, whether they are married, committed or single.

Second, the debate here isn't about that. Instead, it's about the qualification that attendees of the Solos Rally be unmarried and uncommitted. Never mind that I host 3-4 other MIXED rallies during the year that anyone can attend. It's only the Solos Rally that certain individuals seem to have a problem with because they're strictly for singles. They perceive it as segregating; I see it as serving a niche group.

Fending off unprovoked sexual advances is hardly new to me either. I've been single since I was 26 (I'm now 63). It's also not new to the women who attended the Solos Rally. However, while you and I may be adept at handling these situations, not every woman is. Some are naive, some are intimidated, some are angered, some would leave without saying a word, others would make such a scene that everyone would be uncomfortable.

You know, it's one thing to be propositioned in a bar, at work, or in any other situation where you can choose to leave, report it to a supervisor, or give the perp a piece of your mind and/or run him/her off. It's altogether different to be propositioned or pawed at a mixed fiberglass rally where you've gone expecting to meet new friends and to simply have a good time surrounded by those you thought you could trust, only to have it tainted by an untoward advance. And, it's especially difficult when you're only one of a few unmarried females at a rally. Single women become the perfect target for those 'on the hunt.'

Those of us, male and female, who are unmarried/uncommitted have zero tolerance for those who are looking for extramartial flings or to cheat on their S.O.s. I'm not saying that there aren't decent married solo men or women who wouldn't pose a moment's problem (I know several, as a matter of fact), but how do you separate the wheat from the chaff, especially when alcohol is added to the mix?

I can't and won't attempt to legislate morality, but I can sure do my damnedess to provide an atmostphere free of harassment, drama and uneasiness, and that's what the Solos who attended the Rally have indicated they want.

Eileen

[clover]

So this leaves me wondering where do I fit? Or on second thought not caring if I/we fit into a category other than I/we love to camp, especially in our Casita. We have been to one "mixed" Casita Rally and were made to feel very welcomed and I/we were not the ODD category at the rally.

The I/we referenced is myself (divorced) and my 9 year old son (and 2 dogs) we are into our 6th year of camping from coast to coast and border to border in our fiberglass home. It has afforded us many adventures otherwise unreachable. I am a SoloSingle by part of the definition, that does not travel alone but with someone very significant to me, my son.

Don't worry we won't try to crash any SoloSingle Rallies. However, until recently it was great to get ideas from others traveling by themselves, how to tackle some logistical, physical and mental hurdles of traveling solo. Now that my son has gotten older, wiser and much bigger and stronger...........I can count on him in many, not all, situations to help with tasks of navigating, setting up and taking down in our travels. If you have worried in the past about you own personal safety, add into the equation, "how fast can I run, or defend myself, with a 5 year old in tow?" I'd like to think we have traveled very smart and safe in the past and will proceed with the same care and caution.

If I had the resources and abilities I would travel full time with him and home school. Our Casita travels have greatly added to his education foundation and appreciation of the outdoors and what God has provided us.

Our travel/camping style (remote, dispersed in NF and BLM lands, dry camping) does not fit the typical Casita or Fiberglass RV rally. However given the right timing and location we will attend in the future. All were welcomed at the rally we attended including other "brands" of fiberglass RVs and former Casita owners that moved into larger rigs.

[borderbrae]

Clover I would consider you a single solo. With your experiences traveling in your Casita I imagine you would have lots to share with others and at times would enjoy learning from others, too.

[Samarai]

clover, on 30 January 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

So this leaves me wondering where do I fit? Or on second thought not caring if I/we fit into a category other than I/we love to camp, especially in our Casita. We have been to one "mixed" Casita Rally and were made to feel very welcomed and I/we were not the ODD category at the rally.

The I/we referenced is myself (divorced) and my 9 year old son (and 2 dogs) we are into our 6th year of camping from coast to coast and border to border in our fiberglass home. It has afforded us many adventures otherwise unreachable. I am a SoloSingle by part of the definition, that does not travel alone but with someone very significant to me, my son.

Don't worry we won't try to crash any SoloSingle Rallies. However, until recently it was great to get ideas from others traveling by themselves, how to tackle some logistical, physical and mental hurdles of traveling solo. Now that my son has gotten older, wiser and much bigger and stronger...........I can count on him in many, not all, situations to help with tasks of navigating, setting up and taking down in our travels. If you have worried in the past about you own personal safety, add into the equation, "how fast can I run, or defend myself, with a 5 year old in tow?" I'd like to think we have traveled very smart and safe in the past and will proceed with the same care and caution.

If I had the resources and abilities I would travel full time with him and home school. Our Casita travels have greatly added to his education foundation and appreciation of the outdoors and what God has provided us.

Our travel/camping style (remote, dispersed in NF and BLM lands, dry camping) does not fit the typical Casita or Fiberglass RV rally. However given the right timing and location we will attend in the future. All were welcomed at the rally we attended including other "brands" of fiberglass RVs and former Casita owners that moved into larger rigs.

Clover, check out www.solocampers.com, a lot of the solos hang out there.

[Eric Mayer]

I'm locking this, as I think it has been explained and an option has been offered.

Thanks!

Eric